Human History... Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter. >> >> The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives. >> >> Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early human were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed. >> >> Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement. >> >> Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girliemen. >> >> Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided. >> >> Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass. >> >> Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. >> >> Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat. >> >> Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. >> >> Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living. Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. >> >> Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing. >> >> This ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it. >> >> A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers, and to more liberals just to tick them off.

Cleaning Up After the GOP Posted by Michael Link on January 5, 2007 at 12:17 PM

House Democrats wasted no time cleaning up Washington after numerous Republican scandals with "the broadest ethics and lobbying revision since the Watergate era." Last night, after the new Congress was sworn in and Speaker Pelosi took the gavel, the House overwhelmingly passed strong lobbying reform meant to break unethical ties between lawmakers and lobbyists, as the Washington Post reports:
The changes would prohibit House members or employees from knowingly accepting gifts or travel from a registered lobbyist, foreign agent or lobbyist's client. Lawmakers could no longer fly on corporate jets. In addition, congressional travel financed by outside groups would have to be approved in advance by the House ethics committee and immediately disclosed to the public.
The measures were approved 430 to 1, with only Rep. Dan Burton (R-Ind.) voting against it. This was a remarkable change considering that House Republicans could barely pass a far weaker measure last May and ultimately did not enact any measure because they could not reach agreement with the Senate. But voters in November identified corruption as one of their primary concerns, and the House responded yesterday.
Those voters identified corruption as such a problem due to a Republican Congress famous for its "culture of corruption," from Tom DeLay to Duke Cunningham. The GOP failed to clean up their own mess and paid a heavy price for it in November. The sense of urgency Democrats are displaying on this issue shows a commitment to honest and open government.
And in the Senate, listed as number one for Senate Democrats' First Ten Bills of the 110th Congress is "Ethics reform, to clean up Congress so the government can get back to serving the American people."

In Case You Missed It: Democrats Still Have No Plan For Iraq
From The New York Times
Democrats Have No Real Iraq Policy:

The New York Times: "The Democrats will not be able to savor their victory for long... The Democrats will also need to look forward - and quickly. So far they have shared slogans, but no real policy. During the campaign, their most common call was for a "phased redeployment" - a euphemism for withdrawal - of American troops starting before the end of this year." (Editorial, "Democrats And Iraq," The New York Times)
The New York Times: "[W]e are sure that even a few weeks more of drift and confusion will guarantee more chaos and suffering once American troops leave. Voters gave the Democrats the floor - and are now waiting to hear what they have to say." (Editorial, "Democrats And Iraq," The New York Times)
Existing Democrat Policies Are Inadequate:
The New York Times: "We are skeptical of calls, by some Democrats, to divide the country into three ethnically based regions. Most Iraqis - except for the Kurds - show little enthusiasm for the idea. And while there has been horrific ethnic cleansing, it hasn't yet got to the point that boundaries could be drawn without driving many more people from their homes." (Editorial, "Democrats And Iraq," The New York Times)

WASHINGTON — The House, in its second day of Democratic reign, changed budget rules that have allowed deficits to swell with lawmakers' pet projects and President Bush's tax cuts.
The rule changes voted Friday could bedevil efforts later to appease middle-class voters.
One rule requires that tax cuts have corresponding cuts in government spending or tax increases elsewhere to pay for them. Likewise, any increase in entitlement programs like Medicare would have to have corresponding tax increases, or equal cuts in other government programs, under the pay-as-you-go rule reinstated Friday. It was adopted 280-154.
If strictly enforced, the PAYGO rule would make it difficult for Democrats to pass increases in federal benefit programs such as Medicare or the Medicaid health care program for the poor or disabled. In the near term, it would mean Democrats' bill to cut student loan rates will be less generous than they'd like. The rule would also threaten efforts to extend Bush's tax cuts, most of which expire at the end of 2010.
"This is putting the American taxpayer on a collision course with higher taxes," said Paul Ryan of Wisconsin, top Republican on the Budget Committee.